Loving and Losing Dallas...

Today is my first day without my sweet dog Dallas. He hasn't always been in my life, of course, but since I adopted him over twelve years ago, he's been a constant and reliable presence. I've had good moments and bad in the last twenty four hours. Moments where I am weeping for what I have lost, but also smiling and laughing when I think of those times I never want to forget.

I have had several dogs, all precious to me, but Dal is one of two that stand out as truly great, great dogs that I have been lucky enough to call my own. But today, this post is all about him... and me, and how blessed I have been to have known and loved him...

For the past few months, his mobility has declined. Nonetheless, he graciously allowed me to help him move about -- something the independent and healthy Dallas would have struggled with. We all have life's lessons to learn and I know that this was his. His lesson is also mine, for as much as I am always there for others as a shoulder to lean on, I am this strong, stalwart rock of a person who struggles with allowing others help when I truly need them the most.

Anyhow, over the past few months, medication has helped Dallas to a degree, but it became apparent this week that he no longer could get up on his own. A decision had to be made...not easy, as anyone who has been there knows.

A phone call was made last Monday, but the appointment was set for today, actually. I needed time to work through it, and I also sensed that perhaps he would try to pass on his own. He did try...a few times, I thought he was at that point. He just couldn't quite seem to get there, and he was struggling with pain. So, on Wednesday, I called the vet's office and moved the date to Friday.

Then, not wanting Dallas to see me cry, I went outside and saw Dave (who is doing some work on my house at the moment) and told him the news. Although I haven't known him too long, he has watched my morning routine with Dallas as he has arrived for work over the past month: I would slide Dallas outside on his dog bed, help him up to relieve himself, then gently help him back down to the bed. Then, (since he could no longer enjoy a walk) he would have fun watching the kittens as I sipped my morning coffee.

Dave said, in such a kind way, that Dallas had been hanging on for me. Until then, I wasn't quite ready to let him go. Once I made the decision, it was as if he knew, and he began to go downhill. I knew in my heart of hearts that Dave was right.

To tell the rest of this story, I need to digress a bit and recount when Dallas first came to live with me. My yellow lab, Muldoone (the other dog I mentioned earlier), had died a few months before. Eventually, I found Dallas and was certain he was going to be my next dog. However, once Dal arrived, the wound from losing Muldoone opened up again, tears flowed, and I wasn't sure I made a good choice. I actually contemplated returning Dallas.

As I laid on my couch, sobbing, Dallas gently crept up next to me and licked my tears away! I knew right then that he was a "keeper".

Yesterday, in the wee hours of Friday morning, I woke up because I heard Dallas wimpering for me. I had been sleeping on the floor next to him all night, so I gathered him in my arms (he's not a small dog) and kissed and cuddled him, as he seemed to want me to do. I looked deeply into his eyes and knew he couldn't fight any more, or continue to hang on for me. I told him it was OK to go...

Then, those tears that I had been fiercely keeping in all week and didn't want him (or anyone else) to see, opened like floodgates, and I just sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. Once again, even though this time, he was in his last hours of life and his last hours with me, he licked away my tears -- and, I let him...

Breakfast is Served!

My morning routine has changed a bit lately...Dallas, my beloved oldest dog has arthritis that has gotten quite severe lately. He is on medication, though, but still requires more help from me than before.

Since he can't go on long walks anymore, I help him outside and we take a short stroll around the front yard. Then, I sit him down on his dog bed that I have brought outside and we enjoy the morning a bit together (weather permitting, of course!). I sip my coffee, he growls at my cats (Lola and Zane), we watch the ducks together -- it's all good!

Last weekend, I decided to have breakfast outside. Of course, Dallas wanted some, too, and I obliged. Unfortunately, the eggs aren't from the geese because they tend to upset my stomach (see earlier posts), but the chives are from my garden!

I love fresh chives mixed with my eggs and a bit of cream cheese! For every three eggs, use about 2 ounces of cream cheese and about 2 tablespoons of chopped chives. I usually allow the eggs to cook and set up a bit before adding in the cheese, but for creamier eggs, add the cheese as soon as you begin cooking the eggs. Add more chopped chives for garnish -- and a side of whatever you like.

Dallas liked the bacon, by the way!

Monday Muse

I wasn't gone from blogging -- just gone on vacation! Now, I feel that I need a vacation from the vacation! I left on May 14th, traveling with my friend Sue -- and three dogs between us! We drove from Virginia to Mystic, Connecticut, which is about an 8 hour trip. Two nights there, then a relatively short drive (about 2 hours) to Cape Cod. We rented a very cute house in Dennis, close to Route 6A, for those who are familiar with that area. After a week on the Cape, we drove back to Mystic overnight, then home on Sunday the 24th. It was a good decision to wait a day and travel when traffic was a bit lighter on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend.

I envisioned doing some posts during the trip, but it turned out the internet was down at the house we rented, so that thought went out the window! Last week, try as I might, I couldn't seem to get the time to post. I suppose I should back up and say that the trip almost didn't happen. In the picture is my sweet boy, Dallas! We have been a pair for twelve years, having adopted him after my yellow Lab, Muldoone, passed away. About 3 or 4 when I adopted him, he had been at a no-kill shelter for nearly a year and a half! Now, nearly 16, he has become very arthritic. So, I put him on some medication (Metacam) and it helped for a bit. I needed to add a pain pill, and then right before vacation, I added an injectable medication I was taught to administer called Adequan. I was not certain I would be able to take the trip, but because he responded so well to the medication, I decided we could after all. However, I will admit that the long car rides have set Dallas back a bit and he is recuperating. But, his spirits are excellent and he is now allowing me to help him get up and move about -- something he wouldn't do before. I also have arthritis (rheumatoid) and he is a big dog, so by the end of the day, I am worn out from helping him and everything else I do throughout the course of the day. Much of last week was spent just getting him into a comfortable routine, then crashing -- hence, no blogging.

So, to make a long story short, Dallas serves as the inspiration for today's Monday Muse --

I Think I Know No Finer Things Than Dogs

Though prejudice perhaps my mind befogs,
I think I know no finer thing than dogs;
The young ones, they of gay and bounding heart,
Who lure us in their games to take a part,
Who with mock tragedy their antics cloak,
And, from their wild eyes' tail, admit the joke;
The old ones, with their wistful, fading eyes,
They desire no further paradise
Than the warm comfort of our smile and hand,
Who tune their moods to ours and understand
Each word and gesture, they who lie and wait
to welcome us -- with no rebuke, if late.
Sublime the love they bear; but ask to live
Close to our feet, unrecompensed to give;
Beside which many men seem very logs --
I think I know no finer things than dogs.

--Hally Carrington Brent

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